Lesson 4 - The training

[Drake Heros]

Welcome back once again. As you have had 3 lessons already, you should know quit a lot about RPing now. As for that we start with training you skills. This involves a single post and I or Infenyte will correct it and tell what you could have done better.

What do you have to post?

Copy the next codes and paste in in your own post and fill it out. You have to make a little story of your own. Just made up random. It doesn't have to be a big story. But a story with a meaning behind it would seem right. For example;
You have to go to school, but somehow can't. You call you friend and ask him/her to help you out. He/she comes over and you both think of a plan to go to school anyway. Or just really a good lie to skip it.
It was just an idea. Just think of a little story yourself and make it in a post for like in a real RP.

[b][u]Character[/u][/b]
Make a simple character.

[i]Name :[/i]
[i]Age :[/i]
[i]Gender :[/i]
[i]History/Background :[/i]
[i]Appearance :[/i]

[u][b]Roleplay act[/b][/u]
Type a little roleplay as for how your character would act, say, think and do.

[Yume]

Character
Make a simple character.

Roleplay act
"No wai!" Evelynn yelled into her cellphone.
"Ya wai!" It sounded from the other side of the connection.
"You mean, RLY?" It was one of the daily conversations Evelynn had with her best friend. She lay on her bed, holding the cellphone with her right hand next to her ear and wrote something down in her notebook with the pencil in her left.
"Yeah! Totally!" Her friend responded. "I didn't thought that would happen though. It was a complete surprise!"
"Good it happened." Evelynn said happilly. "About time he kissed you."


Name: Evelynn Adams
Age: 17
Gender: Female
History/Background: Evelynn is a normal high school girl who lives a happy life with her parents and younger brother. In school, her grades are a little above average. After school and homework, she likes to hang out with her friends.
Appearance: Evelynn is rather tall for a girl her age and has a thin build. She has brown hair, which curls at the ends. Her eyes are a light brown, mixed with a bit of green here and there.

Nice post Yume. You indeed know what you wants to do but make it too short. You should try to post it with more details and get more story in it.

A tip : Do not always use "---" the saying signs to say something. Sometimes you must make it a action like to say something. For example;
And she told her friend it wasn't fun at all. "I just hate all that stuff." As the they spoke of all the things happend these last few days the stopped at a cookiebar and got some special made cookies for themselfs.

[LeannaAnne]

Character
Make a simple character.

Name : Sira
Age : 16
Gender : Female
History/Background : Has grown up in a normal family with her little sister. She doesn't like being lonely, she always wants to have someone around. She has a big fear for walking alone in the dark evenings.
Appearance :She got dark brown hair that stopped a little lower then her shoulders, she has green eyes, she doesn't like make-up. She likes to wear shirt with short arms, she only takes warm colors such as red, orange an yellow. She likes to wear skirts that get to her knees, and walks on flat shoes.

Roleplay act
Sira walked through the shopping center together with her best friend Mara. Sira needed some clothes to prepare for the winter that was coming close. Mara stopped walking and grabbed Sira's arm, with a sneaky voice she said "why don't we go to that shop at our left" and Mara pointed to the little clothes store. Sira looked where Mara pointed, and then made a creepy face "There?! Don't be silly! I'm not going to wear any gothic clothes!". Teasing Mara went on "I think they would fit your perfectly, and that cute boy that works there would like it too.". Sira shocked and turned around to Mara "What with that boy?! Its just a....a boy doing his job, in all stores they say the clothes your trying look fine!". Mara started to laugh at Sira's reactions "Yes but you already like it when he talks to you." Sira's face turned red, she had never told anyone she liked the boy of the gothic store. "How can you say that Mara! You can't prove it!". Mara laughed even harder when she saw Sira's face becoming red. "Its obviously that you like that dude. When you walk in that store and he greets you, you turn red and then tell that black is making you sweat because its so scary and ugly! Like colors can do that!"

You try really hard and are starting to get all of this. You are good with making a short story. But you need to write it more open. And use more enters, Now it looks like one rock of text and is boring to read, you have to write it with more lines and spaces. If you do that it will get more attention. Try it out sometime.

Great job!

Tip : Describe the emotions a little more. Not just simple that they react that way, but the details of how they react.

And use the Spell Check. It is really useful at sometimes.